Can you ever really be happy when your heart is telling you one thing, and your mind is telling you another? Can you ever really be happy when your torn in two? Between what you want and what is the best for you? No, you can’t be. Or at least I can’t. it seems like it’s a lose, lose situation anyway I look at it. But I also just may be stupid. Either way it sucks. First boyfriends will always have spots in your heart, really no matter what happens. My mom still stalks her first boyfriend on facebook or google till this day, and they dated in highschool. So she understands why I still feel the way I do, even after he was unloyal. And yeah I may be dumb and naïve and whatever else, but im not going to deny the way my heart feels, even when I know better. Part of me wants to be with him and hope for the best, while another part wants to get him out of my life completely. But I am so torn that I haven’t been able to do either, I can’t decide. I might look like an idiot, but in the end I have to do what makes me happy. People may never be happy about it, and people may look at me differently but if I'm going to make myself learn the hard way again, then thats my decision and they can tell me "i told you so" afterwards. But i know i can't make decisions depending on how other people feel, i have to do it for me. And i have to follow my heart.
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