My Eyes

When I see her staring back at me,
I see the spray of waves.
I see the sea foam grain,
It melts into the trees,
The lines in my irises.
When I see the forest of lashes,
I see the eyes that make me...me.
I watch the darkness and light creep.
I close them...I open them...
I see the tears build the sea when i stare.
Piercing in the reflection,
Begging for someone to realize.
I see the creases when I laugh.

I close my eyes and welcome the darkness again.

manhands.

so, we have to examine our hands. lets take a look at mine. man hands is all i have to say. they are bigger then my dads to start off and i have chubby lanky fingers. sports hands you can call them too, after jamming and spraining every single joint in every single finger from basketball and even soccer. my hands are pretty tan and veiny with scratch marks and fat, crooked knuckles. i have a scar on my left hand on my middle finger knuckle and a red birthmark right next to it. i also have scars from paper cuts because i always scar from the littlest scratches. on my left wrist i always wear my evil eye bracelet, my friendship knot bracelet and my pandora breast cancer bracelet. i don't even take them off to shower. there good luck, i have really bad superstition. its weird examining all the crevices of my skin, all the veins in my hand and all the blonde hair on my forearms. i have a bunch of birthmarks there that i didn't even realize. i should start doing this more often.

Will We Ever Know Who We Are?

Who am I? Now thats a question we hardly ask ourselves. Well lets start with the obvious. Im 18 from Seaford and I am on scholarship at Molloy for Track and Field. Im the oldest of 5 kids and I am very close to my family. I played soccer, basketball and did track throughout middle and high school. Now lets get to the real part of what you want to hear. I am very intense in whatever I do, whether its sports or work or anything for that matter. Most of the time people think I’m a bitch because that is the kind of “look” i have. I don’t mean for my look to be that way, its just how i am. So if you thought I was a bitch at first, im really not! I usually put a giant wall up, the most honest reason for that is because I was lied to and cheated on and made look like an idiot for two years. Haven’t shared that with many people but that is why I don’t let my guard down as easily as I used to. Hmm what else... Most girls are catty and two-faced so I have more guy friends then girl friends, I don’t have the patience to deal with girl drama anymore. Once you actually get to know me rather then being scared of my bitchy look I actually am a lot of fun. I have a really laid back attitude and i’m always looking to do whatever and have a good time. To be honest I am a huge mush and i get upset really easily and i can’t help it. You may not think it but I do cry, because I put way too much stress on myself and it just bites me in the ass. I am VERY honest and I am known to say how I feel instead of lie to someone. Because after being treated the way i was I wouldn’t want anyone else to feel the way I felt. It sucked! But since I don’t know how to wrap this up I’m just going to say I still do not know Who I Am and I don’t know if I ever really will.

My Favorite Place

One of my favorite places is Aruba. My family and I go every single year to the same hotel for our vacation. Having younger siblings, my parents always give the option of Disney World or Aruba...and it is always an anonymous Yes for Aruba. Its just such a beautiful place to be and it gets you away from all the drama and stress you may have at home. No contact with anyone, just you and the beach. Thats the perfect place for me. The excursions are the best there too...from horseback riding, to quadding on the beach and parasailing...you pick it they have it for you. Aruba is paradise to me and my entire family...last time we went we had a party of 23....we would have to rent out places for dinner we took up so much room!

My Special Something

My special something is a little doll i got the day I was born. Ive had it now for almost 19 years, and it comes everywhere with me. It's like a safety for me, I can't sleep without it at least in the room with me. The hearts on its chest is where my Grandma tried to sew up holes and made them into hearts. If you look at it closely, almost every part of it had to be sewed at one point. Yeah it might be embarrassing that I still carry around a doll, but I'm keeping it forever.